Limericks. Smutty limericks. That is all.

[drachenmina]

Those of you with refined sensibilities may want to pass on by. Quickly.

For anyone else, if you fancy reading some Jeeves/Wooster doggerel with no redeeming features whatsoever,

When Bertie awoke one spring day
He said "Dash it, I'm frisky today!
Jeeves, pack me a bag
And we'll go have a shag
On a beach down Devonshire way!"

Said Jeeves, "Do you think, Sir, that's wise?
For even the sand dunes have eyes
Though the weather is fine
We might have to 'do time'
If I'm caught with my cock 'twixt your thighs."

"By jingo!" cried Bertie, "That's true.
It seems that al fresco won't do
It would be a shame
To blacken our names
For the sake of a bally good screw."

"Indeed, Sir," the valet replied
And lifting the sheets, slipped inside.
"But here, I may say,
We can bugger all day
Would Sir like to be held down, or tied?"

(written for the Torquere Social contest)