Limericks. Smutty limericks. That is all.

[drachenmina]

Those of you with refined sensibilities may want to pass on by. Quickly.

For anyone else, if you fancy reading some Jeeves/Wooster doggerel with no redeeming features whatsoever,

When Bertie awoke one spring day
He said "Dash it, I'm frisky today!
Jeeves, pack me a bag
And we'll go have a shag
On a beach down Devonshire way!"

Said Jeeves, "Do you think, Sir, that's wise?
For even the sand dunes have eyes
Though the weather is fine
We might have to 'do time'
If I'm caught with my cock 'twixt your thighs."

"By jingo!" cried Bertie, "That's true.
It seems that al fresco won't do
It would be a shame
To blacken our names
For the sake of a bally good screw."

"Indeed, Sir," the valet replied
And lifting the sheets, slipped inside.
"But here, I may say,
We can bugger all day
Would Sir like to be held down, or tied?"

(written for the Torquere Social contest)

Comments

[storyfan.livejournal.com]

This is so damned hilarious I can't stand it. Must plug it on my LJ and elsewhere.

[drachenmina]

Thank you! *blushes*

Well, if you like it, perhaps I will bite the bullet and post it on indeedsir after all!

[lupus-malus.livejournal.com]

This is the most awesome thing I have read in ages!

[drachenmina]

*blushes* You are entirely too kind! :D

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

Thanks for taking the leap and posting to indeedsir. This was a delight! Very clever!

[drachenmina]

Thank you! *beams*

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

*wipes away a tear* Just... made of win. Entirely.

[drachenmina]

So glad you enjoyed! :D

[blackletter]

Limericks are pretty much my favourite poetic form ever, and these are marvellously clever examples of the form!

♥

[drachenmina]

*g* I was bought a book of limericks as a child, and have never quite got over it... ;D

Glad you liked them!

[isweedan]

*seal-clap of happy* :D

[drachenmina]

*throws you a fish* ;D

[kill-claudio.livejournal.com]

Fantastic! I think I hurt something laughing so hard.

[drachenmina]

Thank you! *beams*

And can I just say I love your username? My sentiments precisely! ;)

[dame-chastain.livejournal.com]

Perfect. Just perfect.

[drachenmina]

Oh, thank you! :D

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

LOL

[drachenmina]

*g*

[tatianalarina.livejournal.com]

Hee-hee!

Love it!

[drachenmina]

Thank you!

(I meant to reply some time ago, but have been mesmerised by your icon *g*)

[a-wittyusername.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnort*

These are hilarious. The best kinds of limericks too-the dirtiest of the dirty.

[drachenmina]

So glad you enjoyed! :D

[salomesensei.livejournal.com]

Absolutely delightful. *applause*

[drachenmina]

*bows*

[beeb-almighty.livejournal.com]

*giggles to death*

[drachenmina]

*attempts to resuscitate*
*fails*
*sends flowers*

[mutant-biscuits.livejournal.com]

Hilarious! I love it. :D

[drachenmina]

Glad you enjoyed! :D

[jameta4all.livejournal.com]

I died laughing. Then I used a Phoenix Down so that I could read it and laugh again XD

[drachenmina]

*googles Phoenix Down*
*marvels at extent of own ignorance*

Thank you! ;D

[pipariperho.livejournal.com]

Oh. My.

Darn hilarious!

[drachenmina]

Thank you! :D
(And btw, nice icon!)

[naihtmae.livejournal.com]

This made my day! ♥

[drachenmina]

*beams*

[chaoticchaos13.livejournal.com]

LOLOL!

High marks!

[drachenmina]

Thank you! :D

[niektete.livejournal.com]

I am so glad you posted on indeedsir! This was just the thing I needed to lift my spirits (and my need to write more smut) just now ^^

[drachenmina]

Oh, thank you! And yes, please write! I love your smut! :D

[toodlepipsigner.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to add my hat to the list of those being tippped in your direction. That was hysterical and terribly clever! Last stanza in particular was excellent, but the whole thing flowed wonderfully. Thanks for sharing! Needed a pick-me-up about now.

[drachenmina]

Glad I could brighten your day! :D

[veul-mclannon.livejournal.com]

This. Just. HILARIOUS. Reading it a second time... it's even funnier! (Don't really know why, but...)

WIN. x100000000

[drachenmina]

So glad you enjoyed! :D

[(Anonymous)]

Thank heavens I don't have refined sensibilities! It scans, it tells a story very neatly, and it's funny as hell -- thanks for posting, the limericks are marvelous. :)

[polly-oliver.livejournal.com]

HERE. HAVE THE INTERNET. HAVE ALL THE INTERNETS!