Limericks. Smutty limericks. That is all.

[drachenmina]

Those of you with refined sensibilities may want to pass on by. Quickly.

For anyone else, if you fancy reading some Jeeves/Wooster doggerel with no redeeming features whatsoever,

When Bertie awoke one spring day
He said "Dash it, I'm frisky today!
Jeeves, pack me a bag
And we'll go have a shag
On a beach down Devonshire way!"

Said Jeeves, "Do you think, Sir, that's wise?
For even the sand dunes have eyes
Though the weather is fine
We might have to 'do time'
If I'm caught with my cock 'twixt your thighs."

"By jingo!" cried Bertie, "That's true.
It seems that al fresco won't do
It would be a shame
To blacken our names
For the sake of a bally good screw."

"Indeed, Sir," the valet replied
And lifting the sheets, slipped inside.
"But here, I may say,
We can bugger all day
Would Sir like to be held down, or tied?"

(written for the Torquere Social contest)

Comments

[drachenmina]

Thank you! *beams*

And can I just say I love your username? My sentiments precisely! ;)

[kill-claudio.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's from Much Ado About Nothing, when Benedict tells Beatrice she can ask him for anything, and she asks him to kill Claudio. I've always kind of liked how she takes him so literally. Of course, I wouldn't want anyone to actually kill Claudio, especially with Robert Sean Leonard playing hm. :)

[drachenmina]

I wouldn't want anyone to actually kill Claudio
Hmmm, I'm not so sure. A guy whose idea of true love is publicly humiliating his bride on her wedding day? ;)

[kill-claudio.livejournal.com]

Good point!

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I think Hero was a bit of a fool to take him back; I'd be all, "You were willing to publicly abuse me because you believed a lie about me on no evidence? I'd rather date your friend with the screwed up leg, at least he's smart enough not to believe everything he's told."
I love love love your limericks! ♥

[drachenmina]

I think Hero was a bit of a fool to take him back
Well, absolutely - what happens the next time he flies off the handle after jumping to conclusions?

And thank you! :D